Invitations and Responses

The entire PhotogenX DTS 2014

The time has come.  After saying an over-emotional goodbye to one of our three teams an hour ago, it is hitting me that this season is over, and we are transitioning to a new one.

As I look back on my time in Kona, I see this growth process as a series of invitations from God.  I am typically someone who enjoys saying yes to God, but there have been a few times in my life that I said no and disobeyed Him, looking to serve myself or simply thinking that my plan is better than His.  Everything I learned here was a result of responding with "yes" to an invitation.  Coming here in the first place even follows this pattern.  Each week as we had a different speaker, I felt as though God was inviting me to learn more about his character.  The speakers were incredibly diverse, which I loved, because it challenged me many times to think outside of the box I grew up in and it has forced me to question what I truly believe and seek out God's truth in His word.  Each week I had to open myself up to allowing God to teach me whatever he has for me here, which was a scary thing, but I am so glad that I did because it made my relationship with him so much more personal.  I now realize that he prepared everything that I learned here, and I just had to allow him to work in me to accept or challenge each tidbit of information as it came in.

I have surrendered more of my own plans here than I ever have before, and God has broken down some of the pride I had for myself and my goals and my own thoughts.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:9

I had a plan for my life after DTS.  That may or may not be changing.  All I know is that I am choosing to say yes to whatever God leads me to.  It is thrilling and scary at times, but for the most part God has given me such a peace about it.  I am so glad that I can rest easy knowing that God will lead me to what's next and I don't even need to stress about it.  I can only focus on what is right in front of me, and for the next two and a half months, that is outreach!

My outreach team

I am more excited for outreach than I can express in words.  I really feel strongly that I need to open myself up to God's ability to use me in ways that I can't even imagine.  He has promised to do great things through us and I am ecstatic to see it in action.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father." John 14:12

I am looking forward to what's in store, and I am excited to return home and relay all that God has done.  Thanks so much for all of the support and encouragement from friends and family at home.  Your prayers mean so much!

Goodbye, Hawaii, and Mahalo

Last weekend was my favorite weekend in Hawaii.  A group from my DTS went to Waipio, which is a beautiful valley with a river that runs into the sea.  We hung out on the beach there for a few hours before going to the top of Mauna Kea, the highest mountain in the world, altitude-wise.  (Mount Everest is the highest from base to tip, but its base begins below sea level.)  It was thirty one degrees at the top and no, I did not bring my winter coat to Hawaii, so it was a cold one!  However, it was entirely worth it.  The view was amazing, and I tried my best to capture it.  It was such a beautiful reminder of how infinite and ornate and GRANDIOSE God is! Enjoy!

(Click on the images to make them larger.)

Unconditional Love

Photo Credit: Manny Alvarez

This week was an extremely emotional one.  We had guest speakers named Tom and Donna Cole from Pure Heart Ministries speak from the book the co-wrote together.  If you would like to know more about their ministry, click here.  I'm going to share a little bit about what God has been teaching me.

I am realizing that I have let what has happened to me through life affect my opinion of who God is instead of relying solely on what I've learned from His word and in relationship with Him. I have been learning that I am extremely loved by God, and that his love is unconditional and unfailing. It sounds like such a simple message but before I viewed God to be human-like and I couldn't wrap my brain around how someone could exist that could love me unconditionally without fail. I still can't fully grasp it, but I think I have finally accepted it for the first time in my life.

A couple of years ago someone that I loved hurt me deeply and I never realized until now how much I let that identify me and define who God was to me. I wouldn't have admitted it because I think I was in denial of this fact, but I thought, "where was God" in this situation? I felt as though the rejection from this person was also the rejection of God, that God must not love me enough to bring a quality relationship into my life. I thought I must not be lovable enough for someone to be in a committed relationship with me. I was emotionally scarred and have been walking through life ever since trying to build up my own strength by putting up walls around my heart and vowing to never let someone hurt me like that again. I never realized that my heart was becoming hardened and that Jesus was trying to comfort me the whole time. It affected my relationships with my friends and family as well. I was snappy, insensitive, and just plain mean at times as a defense mechanism used to prove to myself that I didn't care and that those people couldn't hurt me. Jesus has poured out His love to me this week and honestly changed my life. He's been revealing to me that He was there whenever I cried even one tear, just wanting me to turn to Him. Instead I blamed Him and ran towards other things for comfort.

I used to wonder why bad things happen to good people and I have been learning that God doesn't want these things to happen. God didn't create us to love Him without question because that isn't love, it's captivity. Our God is a God of freedom! He gave us the choice, the free will, to choose to love him and honor him with our lives. He has freed us from the trap of sin by dying on the cross for us in our place. Bad things happen when other people use their free will to make poor choices. God is still loving in those times. He carries us and wants to comfort us. He wants to guide our steps as we navigate through healing, we just have to remember that this kind of pain does not come from Him. We are His precious children that He never wants to see hurting.

We have an incredible God and I am so happy that I get to be his beloved daughter. His unfailing love is the anchor to my soul. With it, I know that I am always loved and when I remember it, the pain of this world is only temporary.

I pray that YOU, the person reading this, might remember the ways that people have failed us and be able to see the love of God pouring into that situation even though we may not have recognized it at the time.

Kona Days

Wow.  I am only in the middle of week four and I feel as though I've lived here a year already!  This place is amazing and I am astounded that God would bless me so much as to bring me through this experience!

Living in Hawaii is interesting.  It's so strange to be living in a vacation destination when I, myself, am not on vacation.  When I go off campus I see so many older married couples walking around in Hawaiian button-up shirts and visors it's not even funny.  Okay, well it's still kind of funny.  This island is not very touristy though, so I am getting to know some of the locals as well.  So far I've been to a different beach every weekend.  I'm not used to living close to a beach.  I'm very sunburnt.  I like to say that I am becoming more of a YWAMer each weekend as I get familiar with my surroundings.  I've already gotten lost walking to Walmart, turning what was supposed to be a 30 minute trip into a 50 minute trip.  (Thanks but no thanks, Siri.)  Two weekends ago a bunch of us took some ill advice on how to get to a certain beach from some surf boarder dudes like this guy and we got on a bus that took us half way across the big island which we then took back to Kona immediately because they forgot to mention the eight mile hike from the point where the bus line ended.  It turned out alright though because it was an adventure and we got to ride through and see parts of the island we hadn't seen before for only a dollar!  And it was a fun bonding experience.

Week days are very busy and they consist of going from one thing to another without much time in between.  I go from breakfast, to corporate worship time in the Ohana (which means family) Court, to morning lecture, to lunch, to afternoon lecture, to work duty (I'm on groundskeeping), to dinner, to intercession time in the prayer room and I have about an hour at the end of the day until I go to bed.  It's wonderful and I am learning SO MUCH... I am just still trying to keep up with processing it all.  We also have weekly photo assignments, bible reading, and book reports to do, so it is very challenging but oh so rewarding!

We have a different speaker each week that teaches on a different topic.  The first week was on hearing the voice of God and it was taught by the PhotogenX discipleship training school's founder, Susi Childers.  The second week was taught by Layne Grime on identity.  This week, we are learning about the restoration of our hearts and healing the wounds from our past.  Our teachers are Tom and Donna Cole and they teach from the book called "Pure Heart" which they co-wrote together.  I will post another blog post soon about what I am learning about through their lectures.  It is really amazing stuff and the Lord has gifted this couple with an incredible testimony and ministry.

If you would like to know where I am going for my outreach ask me via e-mail, facebook, or call/text.  I AM SO EXCITED!

Here are some photos from my time here so far.  These are either photos that I've taken on weekends or for photo assignments in school.

Worship at the Ohana Court

This is Rachel from Florida.  She's a gem.

This is Lisa from Germany.  She's adorable.

Black sand from the black sand beach

It's a blast being surrounded by so many photographers

"LOST" anyone?

Mahalo, Hawaii!

I AM IN LOVE… with this whole experience.  I have only been here one week so far, but I just know that this time will change my life forever.  For one, it is the most beautiful place I have ever been in my entire life.  I have always heard that Hawaii is beautiful but it is just so far beyond that! It is heavenly.  The flowers and smells overwhelm the land, the people are wonderful, the school is fantastic, and I have already made some wonderful new friends both in the PhotogenX DTS and in Awaken (another DTS that runs this quarter), as well as some other people on campus.

There are 26 students in my DTS (called PhotogenX), 21 women and 5 men, with the youngest being 18 and the oldest being 33.  I fall right in the middle, age-wise, which was surprising because I thought this was something most people do after high school and before college, but it turns out that’s not the case!  We have students in our DTS from the U.S.A., Japan, Colombia, South Korea, Brazil, Germany, Holland, and Singapore.  It’s a blast getting to know everyone.

One of my favorite things that happened here so far was reuniting with an old friend from my Millersville University orientation group freshman year, named Carl.  I didn’t know him that well then, but I have been overjoyed to reconnect and hear how he was led to Jesus in recent years and how God is using him in INCREDIBLE ways since becoming a Christian.  Carl did a DTS through this base before and now runs the coffee shop on campus.  Perhaps it was the jet lag and emotional state I was in, having gone through a bit of culture shock upon arriving, but it was simply wonderful to see a face that I knew amongst a crowd of unfamiliar faces.  To me, Carl’s face represented home, and I am just so glad to have another Lancastrian among us!

This is just one example of how I have felt God’s blessings every step of the way here.  I have not doubted his guidance here for one second yet.  I know that this is where I am supposed to be.  I am tremendously aware of his presence and I am prepared (as much as I can be) to be broken by the Lord and to reshape my life around Jesus.  We have only had three days of classes so far, but I am overjoyed to get to focus and learn on something with eternal value!

Some things I’m excited to learn/areas I’d like to grow in:

• I’d like to grow closer to God.  I want to fall in love with Jesus here!
• Being a bucket filler.  (I’m a teacher, what can I say?)  It’s funny how even though I live in a beautiful place, every once in a while I catch myself complaining about the humidity or something and then I want to kick myself in the teeth.  I want to encourage others and build them up, avoiding gossip, unkind words, or judgment when it comes to relating people that are different than myself.
• Boldness in ministry.  As I look back on my life I’m sad to say that I realize that I have missed too many opportunities to share Jesus with others.  I want to learn more about God and learn specifically about ministry and grow towards being more open to talking about my faith with others.  I want to be completely unafraid to reach out to others and tell them about the One who gives life meaning and sets us free!
• Hearing God’s voice.  I’d like to learn how to better hear and obey the Lord’s calling on my life.  This means I will have to surrender my own plans and open myself up to the possibility that Jesus might completely change my idea of what my life should be like.

I can't wait to find out where I will be going for the second half of our school!  Today we were presented with our three choices and ordered our choices from one to three.  The options were Panama, Thailand and China, and Germany and Turkey.  (The two-country options means that our time in each one is split.)  We should be finding out sometime soon (within the next day or two) where we are going.  I laid down under a banana tree and prayed.  My choices in order were:

1. Thailand and China
2. Panama
3. Germany and Turkey

I would honestly be super excited about any of the options.

I am very busy but I will try to take more pictures and post them soon.  I am having a lot of fun, as well!  My first weekend here was spent riding around on rented mopeds (at a super cheap rate for YWAMers) and going to some further away secluded beaches.  It was a beautiful day spent with three new friends.  This entire island is beautiful and driving the mopeds was such a fun adventure.  I had a blast!

I am absolutely ecstatic to be here and feel ultra blessed to be a part of this ministry!  To those of you that supported me, I cannot say it enough--THANK YOU!!!  It is truly amazing how much I can tell that the Lord is changing my life and teaching me how to serve others.

I will post again soon about the final decision for where I will be going, so stay tuned!